by Thalia Anderen, LCSW

A recent client of mine sought counseling to examine some of the negative emotions she was experiencing while caring for her husband, who was struggling with multiple medical issues. She described how she used to be active in the community, had a full social life and loved to travel. Yet, ever since her husband became ill, her life had changed dramatically. While she was initially able to remain somewhat socially active, one time her husband had a medical emergency while she was out to lunch with friends and, from that point forward, she became fearful of leaving the house at all, even for just a few minutes to go to the grocery store. Over time, she became more isolated, lonely and, at times, resentful.

Unfortunately, this story has become all too common. It is estimated that more than 120 million American adults are either currently providing unpaid care to a loved one or have done so in the past. As people are living longer, there is a corresponding need for more caregiving services. Often times, these responsibilities fall to family members, and while caring for a loved one can be fulfilling in many ways, it can also lead to exhaustion, depression, isolation and burnout.

Caregivers can become so isolated in their daily routines that it’s easy to become disconnected from friends, from hobbies and from their communities in general. Many caregivers report losing track of friends altogether as it becomes more and more difficult to find time to talk or to accept invitations to get together. The longer a loved one’s illness lingers on, the more isolated a caregiver can feel. In this regard, it is not uncommon for caregivers to be guided by their guilt and fear when thinking about leaving their loved one alone. Even when caregivers are able to socialize or re-engage their hobbies and activities, they are often too tired to follow through and find it is easier to just remain at home.