Forgive, Release, Let Go

Forgiveness Stone

by Lisa M. Wolfson

I have always been an advocate for self-improvement and growth, but in recent years, as a breast cancer survivor, my desire to make necessary changes has become a priority. I’ve come to realize that inner peace is at the core of maintaining a happy, healthy life.

Struggling with situations that don’t serve me well, but often feeling guilty about letting go of them, has been a continuing source of disquiet for me. Harboring resentments for the actions of others has brought me down and into a dark place. I would tell myself “let it go.” But how do I accomplish that?

When someone’s behavior hurts us or makes us angry, we may hold onto a resentment for the person or situation they’ve created or helped to create. We think of forgiveness as a timid act, an act of giving in. We focus on the source of our pain and decide that forgiving the person who caused that pain allows them to win. What we overlook is that dwelling on the pain hurts us more, lowering our energy, overwhelming our concentration, and undermining the better angels of our nature. In short, the act of holding onto pain hurts us more than it hurts anyone else. It holds us captive and renders us helpless.

Forgiveness is an empowering act. When we are consumed with resentments, we are held back and controlled by them. We talk about them, we become preoccupied with them, and our moods are subsequently altered in a negative way. Ultimately, all the resentments we hold boomerang inward and the self-anger seeps into our daily lives, overshadowing the joys of the day and the joys to come. When we make a decision to forgive, release and let go, we are taking back the power over our lives. We are removing this preoccupation from our focus and allowing ourselves to move forward. Releasing the harmful resentments we harbor is like a detoxification that yields energy and focus. Now that’s empowerment!

Forgiving a person does not mean that we allow the hurt to continue. Not at all. On the contrary, it’s an acknowledgment that we are no longer dwelling on the how or the why of their actions, and instead merely releasing it and moving on. Recognize that any unkind words or actions someone else directs toward you is simply a reflection of themselves. Release it so it never becomes a reflection of you. Remember the Law of Attraction — you attract what you focus on!

Sometimes we also continue relationships that are toxic because we are consumed with the pain, drained by it and on a never-ending quest to fix it, to make it all better, to decontaminate and purify. But we need to recognize there are people and situations we cannot change. We need to accept that we can forgive toxic people and toxic relationships, but we do not have to remain a part of them. Through the act of forgiveness, we can help to make the releasing and letting go a permanent act. And consequently feel good and renewed, rather than carrying all that baggage around with us all the time.

If you can send good thoughts toward the person who caused you pain, you will help them heal, potentially spare someone else the pain you experienced, and further your own healing. It may seem like an extraordinary step, but you can break the cycle of pain by rising above it. You can do this from a distance — it need not be in person or even with the other person’s knowledge or consent. The effect will be the same regardless.

Importantly, we also have to forgive ourselves. We are way too hard on ourselves as we strive for perfection. It’s true that the greatest and most vital act of forgiveness is the one we give to ourselves. When we learn to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and shortcomings, the forgiveness shows in all that we do. And we will attract people who gravitate to the best in us. Again, the Law of Attraction in motion.

Forgive someone today. Forgive yourself. You will marvel at the benefit you reap. Forgive, Release, Let Go! Enjoy the freedom you will feel.

 

Lisa Wolfson is a Reiki Master and lives in Rockville Centre, NY.

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we are reprinting this important and useful blog, which originally ran on July 16, 2013.

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2 Responses to “Forgive, Release, Let Go”

  1. 2016 Congress of California Seniors,
    Southern California Conference,
    October 25, 2016

    Good morning.

    My subject is Ageing and Ageism.

    I will start off by explaining each one.

    Ageing is becoming older over the duration of our lifetime.

    We all age.

    In contrast,
    Ageism is age prejudice against oneself or against others.
    Ageism means age discrimination.

    Five weeks ago on September 21, 2016,
    the New York City Department for the Aging
    launched an “End Ageism Now” initiative.

    Three weeks ago on October 6, 2016,
    a United Nations meeting was held on
    “Taking A Stand Against Ageism”.

    Ageism issues can fall into the category
    of organizational Ageism.

    This happens when
    commercial and social organizations
    allow Ageism practices to occur that are unfair to Seniors.

    This can be in the workplace effecting job hiring,
    promotions, job assignments and job terminations.

    This can be in the marketplace when a consumer buys something
    and tries to get proper servicing.

    This can be in the field of banking when bogus accounts
    are made out in the names of customers,
    without the customers knowing about it.

    Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

    Another category of Ageism is individual Ageism,
    that is, individual folks by their own actions
    cause Ageism against oneself or other individuals.

    Even in your own family, you may be able to help people
    to refrain from engaging in age discrimination.

    The old and the young should frown upon intentionally
    trying to put someone down
    and trying to keep someone out of some activity.
    …………………………
    Here is a poem, called CHOICES, composed by
    my spouse, Sylvia Molesko
    .
    The poem shows, what someone can be and can do.

    CHOICES

    You either get older or not.
    That’s not even a choice that you’ve got.
    Well, I would rather get older than not,
    Given the alternative!

    How I get older is up to me.
    I can do, I can go, I can see,
    It’s basically up to me.
    How active or not I want to be.

    I can sit at home or go out.
    I can laugh, whimper or shout.
    Whine, argue or pout.
    Which options do I take?
    Some choices I need to make.

    How do I come across to others?
    Do they respect me?
    Pamper me, humor me.
    Treat me as a contemporary?
    Or just here temporarily?

    Do they care? Do they share?
    Am I included in their prayers?
    As I get older some things are still up to me.
    To decide the person I want others to see.
    Basically this will still be up to me.

    So this is the choice I choose to make.
    To live life fully for everyone’s sake.
    Do all that I still can do,
    Be all that I still can be.
    To expect the very best from me.
    ………………………………..
    After reading this poem, I have one additional thought.

    I WISH THAT WE CAN LEAVE THE WORLD
    IN A BETTER PLACE BECAUSE OF WHAT WE DO HERE.
    ……………………………..

    NOW TO CALIFORNIA.

    In the near future, there will be
    a rapidly growing Senior population,
    much more racially and ethnically diverse.

    Communities can plan and conduct anti-Ageism programs
    to stop Ageism from continuing.
    …………………………..
    THE GOLDEN RULE HAS TO BE STRESSED.
    DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.

    YOU NEED TO SHOW YOUR RESPECT FOR OTHERS.
    …………………………..
    Norman Molesko
    Ambassador For Seniors
    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    Poet Laureate, Congress of California Seniors

    Senior Advocacy Partner, Los Angeles Poet Society

    LA’s Young Oldie Senior Poet, Los Angeles Poet Society

    Resident Poet, Valley Voice Newspaper

    Poet Laureate, California Retired Teachers Association,
    Area VII, Division 19, San Fernando Valley

    Recipient of the Spirit of Life Award, Los Angeles Poet Society

    Recipient of Los Angeles City Scroll of Congratulations
    from Mayor Eric Garcetti and Councilmember Mitchell Englander
    for being awarded the Spirit of Life Award

    Member of the Los Angeles Aging Advocacy Coalition

    Resident Bard, Psychotherapy and the Arts Special Interest Group

    Member, American Psychological Association, Society of Humanistic Psychology

    Poet, California Writers Club, San Fernando Valley Branch

    MORE TO COME

  2. Norman Molesko says:

    KIND TO THE MIND

    Don’t clutter your mind.

    Don’t moan. Don’t groan.

    Don’t revive old ghosts from the past.

    Don’t worry about any future unknown.

    Accept what you have, what you own.

    Appreciate today in a positive tone.

    Be patient with what you find.

    Be kind to your mind.

    Relax and unwind.

    © Norman Molesko, 2002
    Ambassador For Seniors

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