When our parents let us know they were feeling down, we found ourselves saying things like “don’t be depressed.”  We would tell them about someone else we knew who was worse off, or skirt the topic altogether.  But it seems that our well-intentioned efforts may not have been helpful after all.  Later on, we found a great article titled “Overcoming Geriatric Depression – How You Can Help” that outlines how you might better assist a parent in need of emotional support.  To save time, we have provided the highlights below:

• Give your time, your full attention and listen.
• Don't tell your own stories or the stories of people you know.  Every person's depression is different.  Your stories won't help.  Your listening will.
• Don't change the subject when your parents pause.  Instead, try echoing their words.
• Acknowledge the sadness, irritability or withdrawal.  If you name the feeling, your loved ones will know that they are being heard and understood.
• Do not judge your loved ones’ feelings.  Find out what is behind the feelings.  Avoid saying, “You shouldn't feel that way.”
• Resist giving advice.  The solutions that “take” are the ones they “own” themselves.
• Praise even minor accomplishments.  Make sure that your praise is an honest acknowledgment.
• Be honest and promote realistic expectations.  Help your loved ones set goals that they can meet.

For the full article, visit ec-online.net.