Like many of our friends' parents, our mom, who was our dad's primary caregiver, was resistant to having in-home care.  There were many reasons - she felt that Dad was her responsibility, she was concerned about the cost, and she didn't want a stranger in the house.  We’ve also heard other friends talk about their parent’s fear of relinquishing control of their surroundings, and losing their independence.
 
Here’s what we did.  We started slow.  We got our mom to agree to in-home help for just four hours a week, for just one month.  If she didn’t find it helpful, then we’d stop bugging her about it.  But just one visit hooked her in, and she realized that she couldn’t live without the help.  It wasn’t too long before we had full-time care.  The added benefit for our mom was that she found comfort in having someone in the house she could bounce ideas off of.  It made decision-making – which often required tough calls - a little less lonely for her.