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How To Get Your Parent To Change Doctors
This is the question we get asked a lot. Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. We urged our dad for years to change his doctors, but the suggestion was always met with resistance.
Why?
Probably several reasons: One, our dad figured all doctors were basically capable, and two, he didn’t want to have to start all over again. A new doctor means explaining your story again, and, even more daunting, MORE TESTS. More poking, more prodding, more needles. Also, there probably was some sense of loyalty - if our dad liked a doctor, he cut him or her some slack. In his mind, friendliness and a medical degree equaled competence.
But if you're sure a change is necessary, stick to your guns. Even if your parents are unenthusiastic, don’t give in. It’s just too important that your parents have the best possible doctors. It is also important, on the other hand, to keep your parents involved in their own decision-making.
Here are some helpful ideas when you feel a change in doctors is just what the doctor ordered:
This was one of the most important lessons we learned. We wish we’d been more persistent earlier on to avoid the fire drill when the care needs became urgent and the wrong doctors were already in place.
We’re interested in hearing from you, so please Share With Us any ideas you might have that can help someone else.
Why?
Probably several reasons: One, our dad figured all doctors were basically capable, and two, he didn’t want to have to start all over again. A new doctor means explaining your story again, and, even more daunting, MORE TESTS. More poking, more prodding, more needles. Also, there probably was some sense of loyalty - if our dad liked a doctor, he cut him or her some slack. In his mind, friendliness and a medical degree equaled competence.
But if you're sure a change is necessary, stick to your guns. Even if your parents are unenthusiastic, don’t give in. It’s just too important that your parents have the best possible doctors. It is also important, on the other hand, to keep your parents involved in their own decision-making.
Here are some helpful ideas when you feel a change in doctors is just what the doctor ordered:
- Make a list of your concerns regarding your parent’s current doctor.
- Do some research on the current doctor and potential replacements. Visit HealthGrades.com to get as much useful information as possible.
- Talk with your parent about why he or she wants to stay with the current doctor, and try to detect potential fears.
- In order to shut you up, your parent may agree to a second opinion. Assure your parent that he or she can use you as an excuse with the current doctor, such as, “My kids are making me do this.” This can get your parent out of what may be perceived as an embarrassing situation, as it did for our dad.
- If you can convince your parent to get a second opinion, it may open the door to consensus on a new doctor.
This was one of the most important lessons we learned. We wish we’d been more persistent earlier on to avoid the fire drill when the care needs became urgent and the wrong doctors were already in place.
We’re interested in hearing from you, so please Share With Us any ideas you might have that can help someone else.
If depression occurs, first check with doctor to determine if it’s a side effect of the illness or medications.
"Finding Dr. Right for a Serious Diagnosis" by Jane E. Brody, The New York Times
"What to Expect from Your Doctor" by Elizabeth Cohen, CNN.com
"Know When It's Time to Fire Your Doctor" by Elizabeth Cohen, CNN.com
"What to Expect from Your Doctor" by Elizabeth Cohen, CNN.com
"Know When It's Time to Fire Your Doctor" by Elizabeth Cohen, CNN.com
