Having good doctors is essential, and having them all associated with the same hospital is ideal.  We found that communication began to flow once we selected a new team of doctors who were all at the same hospital.  

They consulted each other about important decisions.  Each time our dad was admitted to the hospital, which was often, we didn’t have to start all over again with new doctors and once again explain his medical history.  Also, it was vitally important that the doctors he saw inside the hospital were the same doctors he saw when he was home.  Creating consistency will help to minimize mistakes.  

How do you know if a doctor is any good?  Here are some of the things that were important to us.  Does the doctor:
    

• Ask thoughtful questions, and listen to the answers?
• Have extensive experience with the health issue?
• Effectively communicate the situation?
• Consider the bigger picture, i.e., medical history, medications and treatments prescribed by other doctors?
• Seem to allow enough time for appointments?
• Return phone calls him or herself and offer coverage on weekends?

Trust your gut, and don't hesitate to make a change.  Focus on finding the best doctors who are associated with the best hospital.

Like many seniors, our dad had a large group of specialists treating him.  Each specialist, working independently, prescribed medication.  We found that no one was really "in charge," and we desperately needed someone to oversee our dad’s care.  We needed one doctor to act as the "quarterback."

If your situation is anything like ours was, after the doctor left the room we often wished we had asked a certain important question, or we were still confused about some aspect of the situation, and we had basically no idea when we would see that doctor again.  

Many things can come into play when meeting with a doctor – you may feel rushed, intimidated, scared or get easily sidetracked.  This is why it helps to be prepared for the doctor’s visit.  This seems simple, we know, but this is how to do it:

The relationships we were able to build with our dad’s medical team helped make him more than just another patient - they all knew he was our dad.  It's important to build these alliances whenever you can.  Help your parent get that little extra care and show the medical team your appreciation for the difficult job they’re doing.

This is the question we get asked a lot.  Unfortunately, there is no easy answer.  We urged our dad for years to change his doctors, but the suggestion was always met with resistance.

Why?

Probably several reasons:  One, our dad figured all doctors were basically capable, and two, he didn’t want to have to start all over again. A new doctor means explaining your story again, and, even more daunting, MORE TESTS. More poking, more prodding, more needles.  Also, there probably was some sense of loyalty - if our dad liked a doctor, he cut him or her some slack.  In his mind, friendliness and a medical degree equaled competence.