My sister Karen and I recently learned a hard but valuable lesson.  Even with all the work we'd done on this website, we found out we were not as prepared as we thought, or hoped, we were.  The simple truth is, there are certain things that should be implemented to help ensure your parent's security and well-being in case of sudden illness or decline due to aging. Because of our dad's prolonged illness, we had many of the items listed below already in place, but there were some things on this list that we just didn't think about until our mom had a stroke.  It took us completely by surprise because she was healthy and leading an independent and active life.  For example, we never dreamt it was time for a medical alert button, but her stroke served as a wake-up call for all of us.  

The communication problems between our parents and their doctors were endless.  When doctors would stop by our dad’s hospital bed, for example, and ask about his condition, he would always say, “I’m fine,” when clearly that wasn’t the case.  And neither he nor our mom would ask questions or seek explanations whenever the doctors talked about their concerns and treatment plans, even though the medical jargon could be confusing and difficult to interpret. 

“Medication errors are among the most common medical errors, harming at least 1.5 million people every year,” says a report from the Institute of Medicine of the National Academies.

You’d be amazed at the craziness we experienced with medication mistakes that happened with our dad: being taken off drugs cold turkey, being given drugs he had bad reactions to, not getting some medications because of some inexplicable snafu.  And each mistake had painful consequences for our dad.

Adele Anahory, who is the Director of Nursing at the nursing home where our dad stayed, told us the number one thing families should do is educate themselves about their parent’s illness.  Such knowledge will help you identify symptoms, anticipate the course of the disease, understand the treatment options and ask pertinent questions.  You might even ask a question that opens the door to new thinking by the medical team.  Check out our Illness Guide for more information about common senior conditions.

We all know how bad things can get if your parents have a doctor who isn’t up to speed on their illness, or is too busy, or with whom the relationship is strained.  It’s critically important to feel confident about your doctors.

Don’t hesitate to make a change, if necessary.  Trust your gut.

Make an effort to build alliances with your parent's medical team.  Medical personnel are often overworked and everyone is stressed out, from patients to family members to doctors and nurses.  We found it beneficial to show a little appreciation whenever we could.  When our dad was in the hospital, for example, and we were running out to Starbucks, we would ask the nurses if we could bring them anything back.  They seemed to truly appreciate the gesture.  

“Excellent advice.  Having someone looking out for patients helps to ensure their safety and well-being, and keeps medical personnel on their toes.”  Janet Peter, Jacksonsville, FL