The communication problems between our parents and their doctors were endless.  When doctors would stop by our dad’s hospital bed, for example, and ask about his condition, he would always say, “I’m fine,” when clearly that wasn’t the case.  And neither he nor our mom would ask questions or seek explanations whenever the doctors talked about their concerns and treatment plans, even though the medical jargon could be confusing and difficult to interpret.  These problems were too important to ignore - we realized this was one place where we could make a real difference.  It was clear we had to step in and provide some clarity for our parents, if only by asking questions, over and over if necessary, to make sure that every doctor’s opinions and instructions were thoroughly understood.

Your parents may also be reluctant to tell their story to a doctor because they feel rushed, or intimidated, or they worry about their worst fears coming true.  But that puts doctors at a disadvantage - they may be denied a potentially “telling” symptom or other useful piece of information. 

We found that our dad’s well-being was contingent on communicating effectively with the medical people, and that’s where you – and we – come in.  We tried to make our parents understand that doctors prefer to have patients engaged in their own healthcare.  We encouraged our parents to speak up, and to give a complete picture of their health, by going into detail, covering all the various aches and pains, and to definitely ask questions when they didn't understand something.  There is a List of Patient Rights (see "Always Remember The Patient Has Rights") and you should let your parent know that understanding his or her doctor is not a courtesy – it is a basic right of every patient.

We discovered that it all came down to communication, and here are some ideas we found helpful.